soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
