and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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