watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
