If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
