I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
