what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
