i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
