as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
