ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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