Sponge bath it is.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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