You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize