I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
