the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless