Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot