I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
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saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo