I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
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Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...