I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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