Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
