me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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