i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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