did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
