Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
