In the future we'll all be gay
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
