he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize