dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
