and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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