at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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