Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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