Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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