I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
