I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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