***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
