Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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