He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize