What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we're making bets on your personal life
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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