at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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