Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
