Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The air was thick with penises
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
