he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
