If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
