i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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