Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
