Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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