i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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