Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
