wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.