It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
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JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
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Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.