Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell

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(970): View more from Colorado

you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?

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(806): View more from Texas

Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD

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