you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He shit in the fireplace
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
