You're my little dorito
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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