i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
