Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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