the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
