The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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