The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
