So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
