Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
