Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
