Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
