His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
