well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize