you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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