And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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