Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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