I just threw up on my dentist
I met the friendliest cop last night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
