Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
