I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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