i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
